McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
