If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
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