The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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