yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
