It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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