I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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