you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Randomize
