We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
