Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
