Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
