You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
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