She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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