5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
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Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
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I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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