The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
