: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
