It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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