I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
