elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
