Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
