people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
My penis needs a shock collar
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
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