So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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