Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
