So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Randomize
