She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
