chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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