haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
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She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
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New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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