I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
