so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I love having hate sex.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
then he tried to convert me to islam
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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