could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
This is my gift to your gina
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
