Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Randomize
