my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
