Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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