I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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