yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize