Small penises have feelings too.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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