We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
