Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
