I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
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Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
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David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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