I wish you could order shots online.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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