I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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