I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Randomize
