I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I deserve this hangover.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
