508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
