At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Randomize
