my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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