I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize