then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Randomize
