I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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