Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
God I need to hump something, right now.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
