This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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