Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
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