i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
