nut hugger
My hand turned me down
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I could have mohawked her pubes.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
