I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
