just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
