North Korea, Best Korea!
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
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