i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I have aggressive nipples.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
