just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
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