I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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