Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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